Magic and Military Machines In Las Vegas

Having experienced many views of the Grand Canyon, we decided to leave early in the morning.  Once again the cloud cover was thick, so there was no beautiful sunrise.  Our first stop was the town of Seligman, less than 2 hours southwest of the Grand Canyon.  This location was the inspiration for the fictional town of Radiator Springs.  Many of the buildings along the main road still retain their historic charm.

The owner of Delgadillo's Snow Cap is credited with starting the Route 66 revival and preservation in the 1980's.

Hmmm...why does that old timer look kinda familiar?

Oh yeah. That's why.  Git er done!

We decided to stop at the Roadkill Cafe, mainly because of its eye-catching name.

The food was straight-forward diner
fare, albeit with clever names.

The kitschy decor is amusing for tourists.  We did notice that there were a fair share of locals as well.

Mater Hit the Tater (from the Kid's Menu)

"Guess the Mess" (a heart attack in  a skillet)

"The Awesome Possum"
(A Traditional American Breakfast)

"One Eyed Dog Hit In the Fog" (Texas-Style French Toast)

After heading west for another two hours, we made it to one of the
greatest engineering projects of the last 100 years--The Hoover Dam.

I had visited it about 30 years ago with my family, and didn’t recall it being too busy (or too interesting).  I had accounted for a quick stop and maybe a quick 30 minute tour of the facility.  However, when we arrived there the dam was bustling with hundreds of people.  It took us 20 minutes just to park at a nearby parking garage.  We traversed the length of the Dam which straddled the Nevada-Arizona border.

Visitors can drive on an access road on top of the Hoover Dam.  We just parked nearby and walked across it.

There is a long drop down on the southern end of the dam...

...as the Colorado River continues on its
course down to the Gulf of California.

On the Northern side the river forms Lake Mead.

We eschewed the tour of the Dam in the interest of time and, well, interest.  As we left to get back on the highway, we were glad that we had arrived there by 11 AM.  In the 45 minutes that we had spent at the Hoover Dam, the queue of cars trying to get there stretched all the way to the turn off from the interstate.  There must have been at least 100 cars in static bumper-to-bumper traffic.

Once we arrived in Las Vegas, we decided to head first to the Premier Outlet Mall North, since our hotel room wouldn’t be ready for a few hours.  It is hard to believe that somebody would design an outdoor outlet mall given the miserable heat that is normal for Las Vegas.  Fortunately, The Wife didn’t spend too much at the outlet mall.  Unfortunately, she planned on spending it all at the shops on the Vegas Strip.

We checked into our room at the Palazzo.  It was by far the nicest accommodation that we would have on our trip.  The Kids were just happy that they finally had fast, reliable Wi-Fi.   We spent the remainder of the afternoon wandering around the shops.  The Venetian-Palazzo complex was so large it was easy to get lost, even with a map.

It was nice to have a suite where all four of us could spread out for a few days.

The bathroom alone was about the same size as our entire hotel room at the Grand Canyon.

I had made advance reservations for a restaurant called Other Mama that was located 20 minutes west of the Strip.  The eatery was only about 2 years old and specialized in small plates and seafood.  [Note: The Girl would later say that it was her favorite meal of our entire trip.]

Octopus, Shrimp, and White Fish Ceviche with Sweet Potato Chips

The fried lobster was our least favorite dish.  It lacked in flavor.

Kim Chi Fried Rice With Pork Belly and Farm Egg

Spicy Chicken Wings With Pickled Root Vegetables

The Sashimi was clean and delicious.  The Wife and The Kids weren't big fans of the uni though.  More for me.

Japanese-style Cheesecake

The Honey-Miso ice cream was delicious.  The miso was not
over-powering and had a flavor similar to salted caramel.

   

We breezed through dinner in under an hour, mainly because of the fast and attentive service and our gluttony.  We made a stop at the REI store to look for some last minute trekking poles for our trip to Zion National Park.  Everything they had was outrageously expensive.

We then headed over to the Rio Resorts to catch the Penn and Teller Show.  The Wife and I had seen them 13 years prior and loved their show.  Recently, The Boy had seen a couple episodes of their “Fool Penn and Teller” show and was interested in watching them.  He was not disappointed in their live performance.  They had a lot of highs and a couple of lows.  We were all particularly impressed by a segment that Teller did with a fish bowl where he “turned” water into coins and the coins back into a full bowl of goldfish.  Their finale where they made an elephant (really a cow dressed up as a pachyderm) disappear right in front of a stage packed with audience members was equally amazing.

The Girl was excited to see her first real magic show.

The Girl was so excited about the performance that she compelled us to purchase the "Penn and Teller Fool Everyone Magic Kit."  After the show, Penn and Teller remained in the lobby and took photos with their fans.  That led to the best part of the performance where we actually heard Teller speak!

Teller takes a selfie with the family.

*****

Wednesday July 26, 2017

The institution that I was looking forward to the most in Vegas was not the casinos, the trendy clubs, the celebrity-chef owned restaurants, or even the gentleman’s clubs (The Boy said that he was “too young” to go to a strip club and going to one alone is just creepy).  No I was looking forward to the firing ranges.  The Wife had recently granted me permission to stockpile a couple of 2^nd Amendment weaponry.  Although my AR-15’s are nice, none can fire full automatic as those can sell for tens of thousands of dollars thanks to the NFA Registry Act.  However, in Las Vegas, there are several gun ranges that allow customers to fire a plethora of fully automatic firearms.  The most notable one is Battlefield Vegas, located just north of the Las Vegas strip.  They are prominent among the 2^nd Amendment-loving Youtube crowd.   However, their prices are pretty steep at $40 just to burn through a 30 round 5.56 mm clip.  Plus, The Boy, who would be shooting with me, would just be limited to guns that fired pistol ammo only.  Nevertheless their collection of exotic firearms is unparalleled in Las Vegas. 

I was all set to go to Battlefield Las Vegas when I came across a Groupon deal for another range called the Gun Garage on the southern end of the strip.  It was a hard deal to pass up.  The Boy and I could each fire 9 fully automatic submachineguns and rifles for the reasonable price about $300.  I went ahead and purchased the deal (the first time I ever used Groupon) the week before we left on our trip.  I called the Gun Garage on July 20^th and the receptionist told us we could just show up since we had our own car and it was first come, first serve.  I was pretty excited to kill some evil paper.

On the morning of July 26^th, I woke up early and navigated the maze of shops in the Venetian Hotel to line up to buy coffee and pastries at the Bouchon Bakery kiosk.

The pastries at Bouchon Bakery were indeed good, but a bit overpriced
because of the name recognition of its owner--Thomas Keller.

The Boy and I drove over to the Gun Garage at 9:30 to do some shooting.  The first clue that things were bad was that the parking lot was completely empty.  The second clue that things were bad was that there was a sign that said that they were closed due to a power failure.  I called the number for the range and received a message that they would be closed for another 2-3 days because of this issue.  By then I would be long gone from Las Vegas and stuck with a worthless Groupon voucher that I had wasted $300 on.  I contacted both Groupon and the Gun Garage.  It was silly that I had to do it via email since I couldn’t get a live person on the phone.  Needless to say, my money was not going to be refunded by either party.

Still pissed, I decided to drive over to Battlefield Vegas with The Boy.  As we passed the Museum of Erotica, I asked The Boy if he was interested in going there.  He shook his head in disgust.  I'm sure he will be singing a different tune in a few years.

Overall, I am glad I went to Battlefield Vegas.  The place was awesome!  The parking lot was filled with a random assortment of obscure, antiquated armored vehicles that wouldn’t last more than a minute on a modern battlefield. 

Although it is located north of The Strip,
Battlefield Vega's sign makes it easy to find.

Yes, you can shoot all of these machine guns!

If you're not familiar with firearms, you can pick the most menacing-looking gun hanging on the wall.

Despite the gas mask and shells, there are no
chemical weapons or artillery for visitors to fire.

The actual shooting range is not really very large.  But even at 10AM, it was still pretty packed.

Since he was limited to pistol ammo only, I purchased a $90 basic package for The Boy where he shot a couple of 9mm firearms.  He fired a Beretta pistol (whoopee-doo), and a fully automatic Uzi converted AR-15.  I chose the ala carte options of a 9mm MP-40, a .45 cal Thompson M1A1, a 5.56 mm HK G36, a 7.62 mm SCAR-H, and a MG-42 machine gun.  They also had a Stg-44 in their arsenal, but it was “down” that day. 

Don't try landing on my beach!

An Uzi is a great gun to have if all of your neighbors hate you.

 The Boy had a little trouble controlling the Uzi.  He said the safety on the handle and the iron sights made it difficult to fire.  The 9mm AR-15 on full automatic was no problem at all, especially with the red dot optical.  For me, the Tommy Gun and the G36 were really fun and easy to fire.  Although the Schmeiser was firing only 9mm ammo, the muzzle tended to rise a bit making it pretty inaccurate.  The recoil on the MG-42 wasn’t nearly as bad as I had expected and it was damn accurate.  Unfortunately, it spewed bullets so fast, that the experience was over in just a few seconds.  Firing the SCAR-H on full automatic was no fun at all.  The heavy recoil made it too difficult to control.

Altogether, The Boy and I both had fun going full auto at Battlefield Vegas.  The prices were a bit hefty (the total cost was about $300) and the place was pretty busy despite it being 10 AM in Las Vegas.  Our range safety instructor was very helpful and friendly, and we really didn’t have to wait there very long as their turnover is pretty quick.  On our way out, we also picked up some swag from their pretty large gift store.

Adjacent to their range is a parking lot filled with Battlefield Vegas' collection of decommissioned armored vehicles.  The Boy and I walked around viewing the obscure vehicles, but it was just too hot and sunny to stay out of the shade for too long.  [of note: Supposedly, the Las Vegas police department borrowed some of the armored vehicles from Battlefield Vegas months later during the tragic massacre on October 1, 2017]

A Czechoslovakian OT-64 amphibious armored personnel carrier.

A Soviet T-55 main battle tank.

A U.S. M-56 self-propelled artillery gun.

A Canadian Sexton II self-propelled artillery.

For the low price of $2,000 and change, you can drive a tank over a car.
You can do it for free if you give four years of your life to Uncle Sam.

I didn’t feel that bad blowing a wad of cash on firearms because The Wife was busy at the Fashion Show Mall blowing a wad of cash on dresses.  She stopped off and bought lunch at Luke's Lobster Las Vegas which we enjoyed back in our hotel room at the Palazzo.

We ordered lobster bisque and luke's trio (half rolls of lobster, crab,
and shrimp).  The lobster roll was definitely worth the higher price.

 That afternoon, we tried lounging by the hotel’s pool, but there was very little shade for the lounge chairs and the pool was full of loud, boisterous children…wait those were my kids.  The Kids were not happy that the two lifeguards yelled at them when The Girl tried getting on The Boy’s shoulders.  I guess they have to be extra cautious when the deepest part of the pool is only four feet deep.  We stayed out there for less than an hour as the blaring sun of the Vegas sky was too intense to take.

We wandered the shops of the Venetian for the rest of the afternoon.  The Wife bought some Royce chocolates (never heard of them) that were very high-end but delicious.  She also bought six fancy macarons for about $17.  They were good, but I’ll stick to the $.50 macarons that you can buy in bulk from the frozen section at Restaurant Depot.

We headed out to the “Chinatown” area of Las Vegas for our 6 PM reservation at Raku (there are so many Asian restaurants in Vegas that I think the whole area west of the Strip is Chinatown).  This izukayan-style restaurant has been profiled by many TV personalities such as Anthony Bourdain over the last several years.  The reason that I wanted to try it was for The Kids to try a more authentic type of Japanese food instead of always eating overworked sushi rolls crammed with mayonnaise and cheap fish.  Plus, the restaurant also continued to receive good reviews on sites such as Yelp.  When we arrived at 5:50 PM, there were several people already lined up to try to get seats.  Advanced reservations are definitely recommended for this popular restaurant.

We were tucked away in a small, semi-private room.

Raku has an option for omakase which is recommended by many people.  However, at $75 per person, that would be fine for The Wife and I but a bit too excessive for The Kids.  We decided to order a la carte from the menu.  There would be no sushi, no sashimi, nor an crudos, ceviches, or tiraditos.  This was robatu-style where food is cooked. 

Poached egg with sea urchin and salmon roe

Homemade tofu with chili garlic sauce and Japanese mustard greens

Pork ear

Grilled "corn cob" special (mashed potato center with corn kernals)

Asajime chicken breast wrapped with chicken skin

Butter sauteed scallop with soy sauce

Kobe beef outside skirt with garlic

Kurobuta pork cheek

Kobe beef tendon

Pork intestine

Steamed foie gras egg custard

Grilled rice ball in broth with ume plum

Green tea creme brulee with green tea ice cream

We especially loved their fresh tofu, uni with poached egg, and sautéed scallop with soy sauce.  The biggest miss was from their specials menu—“corn on the cobb.”  It was corn kernels arranged around a patty of mashed potatoes to resemble a corn cob.  It was whimsical idea, but it just didn’t taste delicious.  I had expected to spend a ton of money at Raku, but surprisingly our pre-tax total was less than $100.  The service was excellent there.  Maybe in the future I will try their omakase.

The Wife and I had tickets for the 10 PM performance of Absinthe.  We dumped The Kids back at the Palazzo and made the trek over to the “tent” at Caesar’s Palace where the show was held.  Absinthe has been a very popular attraction in Las Vegas ever since it opened in 2011.  It features several amazing circus acts interspersed between raunchy, inappropriate humor.  Unlike the Circus Soleil performances which are held in giant amphitheaters (The Wife and I had nosebleed seats when we went to see “O” 13 years ago), the audience is packed in close to the stage for Absinthe.  I had read comments on the Internet that the folding chairs in the first several rows were pretty tight.  Plus, guests in the first couple of sections would be picked on mercilessly.  Since I wanted to spread my legs out and I didn’t want to be “teabagged” by another dude, The Wife and I purchased tickets for the large, comfy chairs at the back of the tent.

Because of the limited size of the speigeltent, the audience is practically onstage.

Our seats seemed more comfortable than the 

metal chairs and weren't too far from the action.

Stacked chairs can be used to change a light bulb when a ladder is not available.

Fortunately, the big guy kept his shirt on for the majority of his performance.

The show was amazing.  The risqué, borderline-racist humor is not for everybody and is completely superfluous to the circus acts.  However, The Wife and I found it very entertaining and inoffensive.  Our only regret is that The Kids could not partake in seeing the circus acts as they would have definitely been impressed by them.