The Fake Barrier Reef of Utah

The Wife and I awoke early to catch the sunrise over Bryce Canyon.  Despite it being July, it was very cold outside because of our elevation.  Unfortunately, just like what we had experienced at the Grand Canyon, the clouds were out in force preventing us from seeing a beautiful sunrise.

The early morning sun did highlight the various hues of the rock formations in Bryce Canyon.

After checking out from the Bryce Canyon Lodge, we drove back to the entrance of the national park.  Our last stop was the Fairyland Canyon overlook.

Fairyland Canyon is so named because the hoodoos resemble tower spires ala Cinderella's castle.

When we were planning our trip, The Wife and I had planned to take an entire day to leisurely drive eastwards to Moab.  When we finally did arrived in Utah, we were quite embarrassed to find out that we had completely overlooked an entire national park near our route.  Never having heard of Capitol Reef National Park, we decided to make a half-day detour.  

Our journey first took us through Grand Staircase-Escalante National Monument.  This controversial area became a protected region in 1996 (It has since been shrunk by half in late 2017).  This remote and rugged region contains canyons, cliffs, and plateaus of the "Grand Staircase."  In this geological formation, different stratifications of sedimentary rock with exposed cliff faces form a set of "stairs" that extend from Bryce Canyon all the way down to the Grand Canyon.  

This vast cliff wall represents one of the "steps" of the Grand Staircase.

As we drove through the area, we could see why this area was one of the last places in the United States to be fully explored and settled.  The terrain was rocky, harsh, and desolate.  As late as the 1930's some of the remote towns in the region still received their mail using mule trains.  

In 1940, Highway 12--"The Million Dollar Highway" was finished linking several of the rural
  towns in the region.  The project took tons of dynamite and five years of back-breaking work.

As evinced by this green valley, not all of the area was inhospitable.

After driving for much of the morning, we approached Capitol Reef National Park.  This region is part of the Waterpocket Fold, an 87 mile monocline that was formed 65 million years ago when two continental plates collided.  The pressure caused the end of one plate to be lifted higher up than the surrounding land.  Over the next several million years, erosion created canyons, cliffs, and domes in the exposed softer rock layers of the earth's crust.  This erosion also created basins that would form waterpockets allowing vegetation and sustainability of life.  Capitol Reef is an oasis among the harsh, desert-like conditions in the surrounding areas.  Small groups of indigenous people and Mormon settlers were able to colonize the area--the latter even planted successful orchards which led the settlement to be named Fruita.

As dry as this geological explanation is, it is still the most interesting thing about Capitol Reef National Park.  When a place is given the name "reef," there is an expectation that there will be some colorful fish and coral.  Nope.  The name is false advertising.  No angel fish, no butterfly fish, no Nemos.  The only things worth seeing at Capitol Reef were a couple of interesting-looking rocks.

Near the entrance to Capitol Reef National Park is the rock
formation known as the "Castle."  It wasn't the fairyland variety.

Several petroglyphs drawn by ancient Hopi and Zuni Indians can also be found in the Capitol Reef area.

The Capitol Dome formation is the park's namesake.  It can be
seen without leaving the comforts of an air-conditioned car.

One of the other must-see formations is Hickman Bridge which is not visible from the road.  From the parking lot, the round-trip hike is only a little less than 2 miles.  Therefore, I decided to leave the hydration packs behind and take a bottle of water.  The Wife insisted that we bring a second one just in case.  It was definitely the right decision.

I didn't account for the fact that we were beginning our hike at noon and that there would be absolutely no shade on the trail.  We were roasted by the midday sun the whole time.  We went through the first bottle of water in no time and was almost done with the second by the time we reached the arch.

The Hickman Bridge was impressive, but we questioned whether it was worth the hike.

The bridge did provide us with
the only shade from the sun.

By the time we made it back to the parking lot, The Boy was feeling pretty woozy and was dehydrated.  Therefore, we decided to recuperate by stopping at the Gifford's Homestead, a single-family Mormon settlement dating back to the 1880's.

There is a museum with relics from the past and a small general store where we purchased some baked goods.

The settlement still has an old barn and obsolete farming equipment.

Fruit orchards still thrive at the Gifford's Settlement.

But the big reason people stop by are for the fruit pies baked with the farm's produce.

After the brief but relaxing respite, we left Capitol Reef National Park, unimpressed by our time there.  We drove for two hours east through desolate landscapes until we reached Moab.  Unlike the rest of Utah, Moab has less of a conservative Mormon presence.  The throngs of tourists like us that visit the city probably contribute to this different atmosphere.

We had booked a rental property on the outskirts of the city for the next several days.  After having spent the last couple of days in cramped national park service cabins, we were ecstatic to be able to spread out in the spacious townhouse.

Living room

Full-sized kitchen

Master bedroom

Guest bedroom

We drove back into town for dinner, stopping off at a quaint Mexican restaurant called El Charro Loco that received good Yelp reviews.  Apparently, others had seen the favorable ratings, so we had to wait awhile for a table to open up in the small restaurant.  It was worth it as the food was tasty and the presentation was better than expected from such as small, unpretentious restaurant.

Chile relleno

Quesadilla rellena con pollo

Horchata

Pina loca (so much food that The Girl and I couldn't finish it)

The Phallusy of Bryce

Although there were still plenty of hikes and activities that we could do in Zion National Park, it was time for us to move on to our next destination, Bryce Canyon.  The drive would take us only about two hours, so we left late in the morning.  We drove along the Zion-Mount Carmel Highway with switchbacks providing beautiful views of the surrounding landscape.  Part of the road tunnels through a mountain, a project that costed a fortune when it was finished in 1930.

Pedestrians and bicyclist are not permitted in the tunnel...

...because they would easily be roadkill in the narrow two-lane road.

The Wife and I were impressed by the several interesting
geological formations that we passed along our route.

The Kids were too busy with their iPads to peel their eyes away from their electronic devices.  As we passed through Dixie National Forest, we began seeing the beautiful red rock formations common in this part of the state.

This is not quite the Zion-Mt. Carmel Tunnel, but it's still pretty cool.

After travelling a bit farther, we entered Bryce Canyon National Park.  The iconic feature of this park are the hoodoos.  These are tall, geological spires containing a hard rock at the top with a softer one at the base.  Over time, the softer rock erodes leading to a long tubular structure capped by a nob-like rock at the top.  Essentially, hoodoos can look like giant penises.  We had seen hoodoos in Cappadocia, Turkey (they call them fairy chimneys), but they didn't look very phallic at all.  Utah would be different.

There is not much in terms of towns in this rural portion of the country.  About the only thing close to a commercial center was the Ruby's Inn which was actually located within the park.  This hotel has expanded over the 100 years of its existence to include a restaurant, RV park, outdoor adventure outfitter, etc.  We stopped off at their huge general store to pick up some food and supplies for the next few days.

We weren't very keen on staying at the Ruby's Inn, so we had reserved a rustic cabin at the Bryce Canyon Lodge.  We were too early to check into our room, so we grabbed our gear for a 3 mile hike.  Starting at Sunrise Point, we walked down into the canyon following the Queen's Garden Trail.

A mid-afternoon view of Bryce Canyon from Sunrise Point.

Like Zion Canyon, the chippies were plentiful and unafraid of humans.

The Queen's Garden Trail snaked along the rock formations in the canyon.

We hiked along many picturesque landscapes along the Queen's Garden Trail.

The descent down into the canyon was pretty easy with scenic views of all the giant penises hoodoos.  While Zion Canyon was pretty hot and sunny, Bryce was much cooler from the higher altitude.

Penis

Penis with nut sack

Nobby penis

Three penises...and The Family too.

Wooden penis

Some penises can be too heavy for one person to carry.

Eventually, this path intersected the Navajo Loop Trail.  We took the southern end of the loop as it led us on a sharp incline back to the rim of the canyon.

From the bottom, the climb upward looked daunting and exhausting.

But at the top, we could laugh at all the poor saps at the bottom.

After our sojourn into the canyon, we checked into our cabin at Bryce Canyon Lodge.  It looked pretty similar to the one at the Zion Lodge.

The park service must have gotten a pretty good deal on green
shingles as they were the same as the ones at Zion Lodge.

The room was cozy.  Like the other national park guestrooms, it also lacked a television or WiFi.

We proceeded to drive out of the park to the Bryce Canyon Pines Restaurant.  It's part of a motel complex that was first built in the 1930's.  As one of the few restaurants in the area with decent Yelp ratings, it was pretty busy by the time we got there.  We waited an hour to get a table, and enjoyed their decor that celebrated the region's Butch Cassidy history.

Chowder

Smothered hamburger steak

Fried shrimp dinner

Rainbow trout

T-bone steak

Boysenberry pie ala mode

Strawberry banana pie

Sour cream and raisin pie

Despite the long wait and out-of-the-way drive, the restaurant was worth it for the pies alone.


*****


July 30, 2017


The Wife and I awoke the next morning, eager to tackle the 5.2 mile Peekaboo Loop Trail.  Our enthusiasm was greeted with grumbles from The Kids.

We drove the short distance to Bryce Point.  From that observation point on the canyon rim, we could see the terrain that the Peekaboo Loop Trail would traverse.

We hiked down a series of switchbacks that led to the bottom of the canyon.

As we descended about 1,000 feet in less than a mile, I kept thinking to myself how difficult the return journey back up these same switchbacks would be.

At several points, the trail tunneled... 

...through the large rock formations.

 

At the "Wall of Windows," centuries of erosion had created openings along the rocky spires.

Despite the cold winters at this elevation...

...trees with gnarled branches and
roots are still able to thrive.

Unlike the previous day's hike, the Peekaboo Trail was more open.  This allowed us to appreciate the vast extent of the penises geological formations around us.

Segmented penis

Marfan penis

Dwarf penis

Pointy penis

A chippie is intimidated by the towering penis.

An army of giant penises.

Although we didn't see any horses on the trails, there was plenty of messy evidence that they had been around.  Unlike the fat chippies that we had seen in Zion National Park, those at Bryce Canyon were much leaner and probably not as well-fed by tourists.  We encountered one chippie in particular who was either very hungry or simply just a fecal freak.

"No! No! No! Don't do it! There's better stuff to eat!"

"EEWWW!!!!!"

Halfway through the hike, we stopped to eat our lunch--sandwiches and energy bars that we had packed.  Somehow, the sight of that chippie munching on the horse poop made our meal less palatable.

Eventually the trail looped around back and brought us back towards our starting point.

Although this hike was only 2 miles longer than the one the day before, it was more tiring because of the more significant elevation changes.  As expected climbing back up those switchbacks to get back up to the rim was exhausting.  We had to stop and rest for 10 minutes before we finally made it back up to the top.

Afterwards, we drove along the canyon rim, stopping at several of the scenic outlooks.

From nearby Inspiration Point, we got an alternative view of the area that we had just hiked through.

At the very end of the Bryce Canyon Amphitheater is the highest area, Rainbow Point.

At the "Natural Bridge" outlook point, visitors
can see a formation that is technically an arch.

We were exhausted that afternoon from all of the hiking.  Since there weren't any quality restaurants within a few minutes drive, we simply had instant ramen for dinner that night.