Dreams of Pooping Pachyderms - More Journeys In Jaipur

I believe that it is important for people to have lofty goals in life.  Some of my dreams include mastering cold fusion, conquering Russia in the winter time, and eating two of each animal on the planet.  Sadly, laws against endangered species make this last achievement quite impossible.  So if I can't eat 'em, how can I, as Stephen Colbert says, demonstrate my God-given "dominion over the animals."  Well, I can think of no better way than to saddle them up and ride them.

After breakfast, we met up with our driver Kishor and our guide Monika for a full day of activities.  As we drove through the city, it was clearly evident that the morning commute in Jaipur is much different than it is back home.

Our destination was the Amber (or Amer) Fort located a few miles outside of town.  It was constructed in 1592 over the remains of a prior fortification.  Over the next 150 years, additions were made to turn it into the fortress that currently stands today.  Protected by surrounding hills and a narrow passageway to the entrance, this formidable strongpoint was never besieged.

The Amber Fort with a moat in the foreground

Hot air balloons are available for an aerial view, but we never saw them launch.

The quintessential tourist activity is the 15 minute elephant ride from the base of the fortification up to the main courtyard.  Over a hundred elephants are used to make the trip 6-7 times before retiring for the day.  The cost is 450 Rs/person with a 50-100 Rs tip for the mahout.  Some animal-rights activist would argue that this attraction is cruel to the animals.  As we were to find out shortly, it is more cruel to the tourists.

Elephants climb the narrow passage up to the fortress.

Elephants wait their turn for passengers.

When we arrived around 9 A.M. there was already a long line in the baking sun.  However, it was a relatively fast-moving queue and took about half an hour to reach the front.  We boarded our elephant named Leche.  As we were both riding on the elephant together, we handed our small camera to our guide to take photos.  (If you don't have a guide, there are plenty of locals who will snap your photo...for a price).

Leche, our elephant, and her mahout

South-bound end of a north-bound elephant

There's a continuous stream of elephants following each other to the top

We were initially the second of a group of four elephants led by a driver who walked in front of the first.  However, the first animal must have had some Indian curry earlier that morning because he had to stop to do his business.  We had a front row seat as greenish, cannonball-sized turds came tumbling out the elephants back side.   Try as I might, I could not contort myself enough to take pictures of this spectacle (It's not everyday that you get a front row seat of a crapping pachyderm).  Our mahout found this to be pretty funny as he kept laughing and making jokes in unintelligible English.  Potty humor transcends all nationalities.  The lead elephant then proceeded to empty his bladder.  Since we were walking up a steep incline, the urine all flowed back to our poor elephant's feet.  By the way, elephants have large bladders.  After some time wading in the river of piss, our mahout finally decided to pass the lead elephant.  However, we were stopped again once we reached an archway only one elephant wide.  We had to yield for a long line of elephants who had already dropped off their passengers and were returning back to the start.

The ride was actually pretty scary.  I don't know if there was a problem with our elephant's saddle, but it seemed to rock back and forth pretty dramatically.  Unlike everybody else, we were instructed to lean all the way back to keep the saddle stable.  The saddle keep sliding as if it were about to roll off the side of the elephant with us still in it.  We were practically having to lie down on our backs.  The ride was very bumpy as elephants don't seem to have shock absorbers.  Once we passed the Suraj Pol (Sun Gate) into the main courtyard, we were met with a cacophony of sounds.  Men in one of the top balconies were pounding away on drums that were formerly used back in the day to warn the inhabitants of enemy forces.

We hang on to the saddle for dear life.

Elephants enter through the Suraj Pol which was originally reserved for royalty.

We are smiling because we know the ride is over.

Monika who had taken the car up the back entrance was there to take some final mugshots of us in our misery.  As we dismounted, a security guard rudely shoved her away.  I asked her what was the problem.  She explained that only one month ago, two elephants got into a scuffle with each other and two tourist were thrown from the elephant, critically injuring one of them.  Years before, another person was killed by one of these elephants who was having a bad hair day.  Therefore, security is now sensitive about preventing the elephants from lingering around and potentially fighting.  Wow, really important information that would have helped BEFORE we got on the elephants.

Monika then proceeded to give us an hour-long tour of the fortress.  There were some splendidly ornate rooms as well as some in complete disrepair.

The Ganesh Pol (Elephant Gate)

The ceiling of the Ganesh Pol atrium

The Aram Bagh (Pleasure Garden)

During the summer, flowing water and dampened curtains kept the air cool in the Sukh Mahal (Pleasure Palace).

Ornate  designs were carved into the white marble of the Sukh Mahal.

 Inlaid colored glass also decorate the Sukh Mahal.

Remnants of a tiled door

The Sheesh Mahal (Mirror Palace) was the private quarters... 

...of the Maharaja and Maharani.

The rooms are covered in small mirrors and reflective glass...

...which are supposed to glitter like a gemstone,

This Stain glass which was imported from Europe depicts a Hindu religious scene.

At the very top of the palace, there are some great views of the nearby town of Amer, as well as the adjacent moat and fortifications.

The Kesar Kyari Bagh is a flower garden nestled in the moat in front of the fortress.
Crocus flowers (saffron) used to be planted here with their scent rising to the palace above.

The Jaigarh Fort, which housed the Maharaja's soldiers, overlooks 
the Amber Fort.  A passageway connected the two areas.

The main courtyard, Jaleb Chowk, where visitors and elephants first enter the Amber Fort.

Some of the old, decrepit buildings behind the fortress are being rebuilt.

These large cauldrons were actually movie props from a Bollywood flick.

We also toured areas of the palace that used to house the servants and staff.

The walls of the palace were painted ornately...

...as were the ceilings too.

Faded paintings in one of the concubine's quarters.

A very uncomfortable bed.

Paintings flank the molding near the top of the walls.

Some rooms had paintings of erotic images...and ducks.

We also saw a snake charmer way down below entertaining some tourists.  We thought about checking it out, but decided against it lest we have to make the long walk back up again.  Or even worse, take another elephant ride.

On the way back to the city, we stopped to take pictures of the Jal Mahal (Water Palace) that was built in the 18th century.

The Jal Mahal is currently closed to the public.

While we were  snapping photos, a parade of worshipers passed by, playing music, and beating drums in anticipation of Holi (Festival of Colors) next week.

We then drove back to the heart of the city for a tour of the everyday markets.  Monika took us around, pointing out several different types of stalls specializing in teas, dried chilies, syrups, legumes, vegetables, etc.  We had to dodge the city traffic hopping from street to street to see the different vendors.  It would be much easier if they just opened up a Piggly Wiggly.

Street intersection near the markets.

Apple salesman.

Tea

Dried chilies

Pickled vegetables

Dried fruit

Dried brown beans.

Dried green beans

Tamarind pods

Dried pasta

Dried legumes

Dried papadum

Saffron syrup

Rose syrup

Vats of fresh milk

Vegetable market

Flower necklaces for religious use

Colored powders for the upcoming Holi festival

We were most interested in the spice shop.  The Wife bought two boxes of instant chai masala because she is too lazy to make it the real way.  I was more interested in obtaining the good stuff--saffron.  They had packaged Kashmiri saffron for 180 Rs/gram (roughly a third of the price back home).  I passed on the lesser quality saffron at 150 Rs/gram.  I bought four 1 gram packages.  I thought about buying even more at this great price but remembered that I have yet to even cook with saffron.  Heck, why waste money on the stuff if your paella's gonna taste like Rice-A-Roni anyway.  We also had to buy some more shampoo because, surprisingly, most hotels that we have stayed in here have not provided it complimentary.

I didn't want to come all the way to the desert without getting a turban, so we popped into a store to get one.  I had my heart set on getting an authentic unrolled turban.  The salesman showed me how to tie a real turban.  At that point, we all realized that I'm too incompetent to figure out how to do it correctly.  Therefore, I settled for a flashy pre-made turban.  It will probably end up in a box in the attic.

If this guy couldn't get a turban to look right on me...

...then there's no way I can.

We then traveled to the upper middle-class suburbs of Jaipur to have a cooking demonstration with Naleene, a widowed mother who supplements her income this way.  She showed us how to prepare several dishes starting with vegetable pakoras served with a mint sauce.  We enjoyed them as they had a good kick of spiciness from chile powder.  Since she is a Jain, all her dishes were vegetarian.  She then began a dish called shimla paneer (peppers with cheese).  I was hoping she would show us how to make paneer as my previous attempt a year ago was quite unappetizing.  Unfortunately, in India you can buy it ready made which she did.  She also prepared a mixed vegetable curry and a yogurt based soup containing boondi (round balls made of chickpea flour).  We also helped her make some roti's.  For dessert, she made a raisin halva.  One thing I especially noticed is that Indian yogurt is much thinner in consistency than the type I can get back home.  It is almost as thin as milk.  Furthermore, like a modern housewife, she liberally used less traditional cooking means such as a microwave and a pressure cooker.  Surprisingly, all the food was cooked on small portable burners even though her kitchen was large and modern.  She also showed us how to make chai masala tea.  This reinforced to my wife how easy it is to make.  Unfortunately, I doubt that she will stop spending $5 at Starbucks to get it anytime soon.

Naleene dicing vegetables.  I never saw her use a cutting board.

Her masala dabba containing salt, cumin seed, garam masala, chili
powder, tumeric powder, mustard seeds and more salt.

Vegetable pakoras hot off the fryer

I strategically removed my awful looking roti's for this picture.

We then made a quick visit to the Birla Laxshmi Narayan Temple.  Built by a very wealthy family in Jaipur, it is constructed of pure white marble like the Taj Mahal.  As it is a Hindu temple, we had to remove our shoes.  Despite it being very hot and sunny, the marble was quite comfortable to our bare feet.  The temple is mainly for the predominantly Hindu community--there are depictions of Vedic scenes in the stain glass windows.  However, it is also welcoming to people of all different religions.  On the outside are statues of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, Christian Saints, Buddha, Confucius, and even Zarathustra (for those Parsi's out there).  Only the prophet Mohammed is missing because, as any Danish cartoonist can tell you, that would mean a death sentence from the Islamic community.

We had about 45 minutes to kill before we had to catch our train.  The Central Museum located in the Albert Hall was nearby so we decided to check it out.  We had read older reviews which had trashed the place, but it has since undergone renovations.  The place was pretty good for our short amount of time.  The museum actually has a pretty eclectic collection (pottery, musical instruments, paintings, weapons) from all areas of the British Empire crammed into a small space.

An Egyptian mummy, the museum's centerpiece

A big camel is needed to mount this gun.

Large ceremonial shield

Collection of several Indian string instruments

Captions like this will not help the museum's reputation.

We said our goodbyes to Monika and headed to the train station.  As expected the train was 30 minutes late.  We were sad to depart from our driver Kishor.  He had been a reliable and welcoming presence for the past six days.

We rode in the chair car class for the trip to Jodhpur.  It was a comfortable trip allowing us to sleep much of the way in.  Surprisingly, we arrived at 10:15 P.M., about 30 minutes earlier than scheduled.  The train cleared out and everybody eventually exited the platform.  Except us.  It was just us two standing there in the dimly-lit area thinking 'Where the @*#%! is our guide?'

Ten minutes later, we saw a large young man bounding down the stairs towards us.  When he finally reached us he was hyperventilating.  He was doubled over, barely able to talk.  He had expected the later arrival time and was completely caught off guard.  That was my first impression of Harshwerdhan, our tour company representative for Jodhpur.  Exhausted from the long day, we checked into our hotel, hoping for some sweet dreams that night.