Brains, Jains, and Trains - Our First Day In Delhi

I must be a zombie because I have a craving for brains.  Specifically, sheep brains.  In a sea of vegetarians, Mughlai food is terra firma for the obligate carnivore.  The dish I really wanted to try is mutton brain curry.  While exotic to the Western palate, this dish is apparently standard fare for many Mughlai-inspired restaurants.  One of the oldest and most well-known of these institutions (at least to all the guidebooks and ex-pats) is Karim's located in Old Dehli.  Supposedly, the family that runs it had cooked for the old Mughal emperors (the last one being deposed by the Limeys in 1857).  Karim's was on my to-do lists.

We started the day early at 7 AM with a complimentary breakfast at the hotel.  They had the obligatory choice of stuffed paranthas or the "western style" breakfast.  Having been served steamed bacon years ago in China, I knew better to stay away from Eastern interpretations of Western food.  While the aloo parantha was good, The Wife and I enjoyed two other side dishes more.  One was labelled sambar and the other uthapam, two words we've never seen at our local Northern Indian-biased restaurants.  I pulled out my iPad and fired up the $3 "Hurry with the Curry" app.  Sure enough it told me that sambar is a stew with curry and lentils, and an uthapam is a savory fried pancake with fermented rice and vegetables.  There's definitely a good reason that app has five stars on the reviews.

Sambar and uthapam

After breakfast we met up with a university student named Ashit (yeah, I know).  Ashit was giving us a tour through Old Dehli, the city built by the fifth Mughal emperor, Shah Jehan, and egotistically named Shahjehanabad.  Our first stop was the subway.  While it can't compare to the Tokyo system, Dehli's underground was much more clean and hygienic than those in most major U.S. cities.  However, they have pretty tight security as guards will check your bags and pat you down.  The subway car got packed in pretty tightly, but not as badly as what we experienced in Japan.  It was a total sausage-fest.  It was odd that the entire car was just men, except for The Wife.  I guess many women use the female-only car.

Once we arrived in Shahjehanabad, we were taken in a peddle cab/rickshaw through the bumpy streets.  When The Wife took me to China for the first time in 2002, we saw only a few peddle cabs still being used, mainly in the lesser developed interior cities.  In the three times that I had been back there, they had since been replaced by the auto rickshaw.  I guess that is a sign of economic development and prosperity.  Not so in Old Dehli.  In New Dehli which was designed by the Brits during the Raj era, the roads are spacious, well-paved, and lined with greenery.  Shahjehanabad's roads are strewn with trash, bombarded with craters of putrid brown liquid, and built too narrow for the traffic mixture of cars, rickshaws, and horse-pulled carts.  But then again, that is part of the charm of a 17th century-built city that has survived invasions and massacres.

We proceeded to visit three temples of worship--Jain, Hindu, then Sikkh.  Not to seem disrespectful, but they were all...eh.  Pictures were not allowed which was fine since there was nothing really interesting to photograph.  The fascinating aspect really lies in how the people there practice their religion.  The ultra-PETA Jains run an on-site bird rescue hospital.  They were nursing all varieties of fowl from peacocks and parrots to the omnipresent pigeons.  The Hindu's seemed to be very tactile worshipers, touching different areas throughout the shrine.  In a behavior that would make even Adrian Monk blush, one guy had to bend over and touch all of the 15-20 steps leading up the temple.

Now the Sikkhs, to me, were the coolest.  They abide by five tenets of dress: uncut hair, a comb, a special bangle on their wrist, underwear, and a ceremonial sword.  Now, who can argue against any of those things?  Nixing the haircuts can save  almost $200 annually.  A comb (and hair spray) is a no-brainer if you want that glam rock look.  A bangle?  Who isn't wearing a "Live Strong" bracelet already?  I never understood going commando or crotch-less panties (especially on guys), so my vote is for the tidy whities.  And a big-ass sword is a great accessory for men who are trying to compensate for any inadequacies.  Or so I've heard.  To enter into the Sikkh temple, we all had to cover our heads.  Our guide was given a manly blue cloth that could be fashioned into a do-rag.  I was given a lacy hot-pink number that made me look like I was wearing panties on my head.  My hotness factor increased ten-fold, but I think I have crabs now.

We observed people cleansing their hands and feet prior to entering the Sikkh temple.  Juxtaposed to to them were men kneeled over drinking the water (the more dignified ones were collecting it up into water bottles first).

Tastes like feet!

One of the amazing areas we saw in the Sikkh temple was a small kitchen tended by about 10-15 men and women.  They were rolling out poori's while lentils simmered in large pots nearby.  Ashit told us that this temple serves free food daily with up to 25,000 mouths being fed!

We wandered through several old alleys of Old Dehli that were famous for different themes such as jewelry, bangles, or shrine decorations.  Many were still closed this early in the morning.  But we did experience the large city slowly waking up.  As the hours went by, the place turned into a cacophony of sights and sounds.  The street vendors fried up mounds of food that will soon be covered in flies.  Men brushed by us in the narrow streets, off to their jobs.  Finally, the beggars aroused and began harassing us.  We ended up at a small, serene alley containing old, beautifully-painted houses--an oasis from the harsh filth and noise of Old Delhi.

We commenced our tour at one of the many Haldiram's restaurants.

The Wife tried the recommended raj kachori chaat.  I'm not a big yogurt eater, so for me it had the similar sour and acidic taste that you get if you throw up a little in the back of your throat.

Interestingly enough, it also looks a little like vomit once you start eating it.  Hmmm...

I wanted the kesar kulfi (saffron ice cream) but they were out.  The matka kulfi was really good anyway.

 The shop displays a plethora of scrumptious-looking sweets behind glass cases.  However, for us, it was very intimidating as we had no clue what anything is.  None of the confections seemed like anything we have back home.

While we sat, we were able to have a nice chat with Ashit.  There seems to be a similar thread among college students around the world.  Ultimate Frisbee, Grand Theft Auto, online shooters like Call of Duty, and bit torrents.  However, I was a bit disappointed to finally meet someone who actually enjoys Ghost Hunters and doesn't think that Man Vs. Food hasn't jumped the shark.  Seriously, has Adam Richman surpasses Samantha Brown or Anthony Bourdain as the face of the Travel Channel!?!

We met up with our driver, Sanjay, back at Connaught Circle and told him we wanted to see the Jama Masjid mosque and the Red Fort, two big tourist attractions.  He was surprised to hear that we weren't taken there already since both are in the old city.  He was a good sport though and braved through the awful traffic to get to Jama Masjid, one of the largest mosques in Asia.

The Wife had to put on an ugly robe to cover herself according to Islamic customs.  I really think they should have provided burkas because as they say: "Go strong, or don't go at all!"  That silly robe was just half-assing it.

Since we were short on time, we just planned on running inside, catching a quick peek, snapping a few obligatory photos, and getting out.  However, we got roped in with some guy who just started giving us a tour.  Being the naive idiot, I just assumed that it was included in the entrance fee.  He kept droning on about the place, but we were too polite to cut him off and tell him we had to leave.

The guide then introduced us to a guy who is the 16th generation caretaker of artifacts of the prophet Mohammed.  He then proceeded to produce a marble cast of a footprint, a lock of his beard, and other stuff like toenail clippings or whatever.  Now I am no scholar of Islam, but religious "relics" always make me suspicious (remember the Shroud of Turin?).  Especially ones that are stored in a plain wooden cupboard with a simple padlock.

Cast of Mohammed's Footprint?

Mohammad's Beard?

Mohommad's Sandal?

Koran written on animal skin

The guide then finished and had the gall to ask for 500 Rs for 10 minutes of unsolicited work.   In reality, it's not that much money, but it's the principle of paying for dishonest work.  Is it fair to have to pay the guys who start washing your windshield at a red-light?  We didn't have time to argue and gave him half the amount.  When The Wife dropped of her robe to the attendant at the exit, I just glared at him as he stretched out his arm with his palms raised up for a tip.

We were too annoyed and pressed for time to stop at the Red Fort.  It looked immense from the road.

Sadly, both the time constraints and the horrible traffic also prevented Karim's from fitting into our schedule.  In fact, we just decided to skip lunch altogether.  Our next stop was the Gandhi Memorial Park back in the new city.  It is well-maintained and picturesque.  It would have been serene if not for the throngs of middle-school children on their field trip.

We then visited Dilli Haat, a marketplace for artisans around the country to gather and sell their wares.  There are several food stalls selling cuisine from different areas of the country.  We didn't try any because of questions over cleanliness.  We did partake in the fresh coconut juice that can be mixed with several other fruity flavors.  There is also a stage for live music or performances, but we were there mainly for the shopping.  The Wife was seduced by a smooth-talking Kashmiri man who convinced her to buy four 100% pashmina shawls.  Now I don't believe half of what he was telling us, but I have to admit, they looked and felt wonderful, and the haggled-down prices were very reasonable.

We then finished up at a store of Sanjay's "friend".  The goods there were of higher quality (and price) compared to Dilli Haat.  Of course The Wife had to blow even more money there while I chatted with our driver about the economics of the tourist industry.  He told me a guide will generally get a 3% commission and a driver 2% at these tourist shops.  However, since we had no guide, he was going to get the full 5%.

Since, we were planning to take the overnight train to Varanasi, we wanted to grab some takeout for dinner.  He drove around pointing out some small hole-in-the-wall joints that were way too shady.  Fast food typhus.  Finally, we arrived at a small strip mall with several nicer restaurants.  We chose the Have More Restaurant.

It sounded terribly inauthentic, and sure enough, there were 20 American tourists there and nobody else.  At that point, we were tired, it was clean, so we didn't care.  As luck would have it, they did have the brain curry on the menu.  We added some butter chicken, paneer tikka masala, mutton barra kebab, and some naan.

We boarded the train and dined on our meal in the cramped car.  I'm sure that I can get hundreds of recommendations on other restaurants with better or more authentic butter chicken or brain curry, but I don't care.  That stuff looked awful, but tasted great.  The sauce for the butter chicken was so rich and decadent.  The mutton brain curry was very tasty with a small hint of spiciness.  It was like eating silken tofu without the guilt of eating something healthy.  The train attendant also served sweetened chai for 20 Rs each.

We finished our meal with a box of assorted barfi (a sugar and milk confection likened to Indian fudge that tastes much better than it sounds) that we got earlier from Haldiram's.  We found that there is no such thing as plastic utensils, as Indians traditionally eat with their hands anyway.

We booked an AC1 class room for our train trip.  I have to admit, it's not too bad as far as trains go.  We have a room to ourselves, and the public bathroom has Western style toilets, not squatters.  The train is not very bumpy either like the fiasco we experienced last year in Peru.  Heck, the room even has an outlet so I can recharge my iPad and type this silly blog at 3 AM in the morning.  I love jet lag.