Atuhualpa’s Revenge - Surviving My Last Day In Peru

We began our last day in Peru on a sour note.  When we arrived at the airport, The Wife realized that she had left that crappy Peru-Rent-A-Cell phone at the hotel.  Failure to return it would cost us more than $50-100 which is ridiculous considering that thing couldn't be worth more than $5.  We had time to go back and get it since the hotel was less than 20 minutes away by taxi.  Just to be on the safe side, we instead called the hotel and asked if one of the many doormen could drop it off to us right away.  Of course we would give them a nice tip and pay their cab fare.  We waited 30…45…60…and finally 75 minutes but nobody from the hotel ever showed.  We had to give up and rush to get on the plane as they started calling our names on the intercom.  Incidentally, all that waiting gave me ample time to check out the airport security.  They had plenty of guys on patrol dressed up in full military fatigues carrying Kalashnikov’s.  I’m glad I didn't buy that dried llama fetus after all.

We arrived in Lima and checked all of our bags in the lockers (total cost was about 75 soles).  I was feeling a little queasy at that time, but figured it was just side effects of the flight.  We had arranged for a half-day tour of the city with local tour guide, Vanessa Vasquez.  She recommended we walk an extra 10 minutes to find a taxi outside the airport as those inside are notorious for jacking up the fares.  Even then, the price was substantially higher than those in Arequipa or Cusco.  We started the walking portion of the tour from the Plaza Grau and headed towards the Plaza San Martin.  Along the way, she pointed out buildings with different architectural styles that represented the Spanish and French influences on the city.  Unfortunately, many were in such a sad state of disrepair.

Eventually we arrived at the Plaza de Armas.  The gated Presidential Palace takes up one entire end.  It is a grand-looking building surrounded by much security.  Oddly enough, we noticed several portable air conditioning units sticking out of the windows.  I would have expected central HVAC for the President.  The Plaza de Armas was packed with Limeños watching the Uruguay vs. South Korea match on a gigantic flat screen television.  Peruvians were much more excited about the World Cup than folks back home.  And their team hasn't even qualified for the event in 20 years.

Presidential Palace in the Plaza de Armas

I actually think that most people were there just to watch Diego Forlan's hair.

While Vanessa was telling us about the Cathedral of Lima that was built by Francisco Pizarro after he founded the city, an old woman standing nearby went apeshit on her in Spanish when she heard the Pizarro name.  I guess old animosities never die.  We passed the Archbishop's Palace on the way to the Convento de San Francisco.  At this point, I was starting to feel pretty sick, so I made it my mission to find a bathroom..

Cathedral of Lima

Archbishop's Palace

We stopped at a new library/convention center converted from an old train station.

The building was open air except for a a beautiful stain-glass ceiling.

We eventually arrived at the St. Francis Monastery which is a popular tourist destination because of its underground catacomb.  There are tens of thousands of skeletons neatly arranged by bone type.  Although I've had to deal with cadavers a lot in the past, the place still gave me the shivers.  But then again, it may have also been my stomach.  I suspect that that the cuy I had eaten the day before was trying to claw its way out of my belly.

Pigeons covered the St. Francis Monastery.

When we had made it to our next stop, the Huaca Pucllana, a large adobe and clay pyramids built around 200-700 AD, I spent the next hour fighting groups of school children for access to the bathroom.  Vanessa took The Wife on a tour of the site while I lay passed out on a park bench.

The monotonous mud bricks of Huaca Pucllana

I've had better days.

After bidding Vanessa farewell, we had lunch at the adjacent restaurant of the same name.  We were a little surprised that the waiters didn't speak much English considering this is such a touristy location.  Fortunately, I had been able to hone my Spanish over the previous two weeks (i.e. I pointed at the menu and muttered something unintelligible).  The Wife loved the fried ceviche appetizer marinated in leche de tigra (it’s not really ceviche if it’s cooked, right?).  She also piled it on with a more traditional ceviche dish.  I picked through their shrimp risotto which tasted exactly like Louisiana jambalaya.  I was too sick to enjoy this place which is unfortunate as it gets good reviews from other travelers.  To add insult to injury, we had to watch our boys get knocked out of the World Cup by Ghana on the nearby TV.

Fish and shrimp ceviche

Shrimp risotto

We had planned on visiting some of the local museums before our flight home, but I was in no shape for that.  Instead we spent the afternoon at the Larcomar shopping center.  It reminded me of the malls at home.

Lima has great views of the Pacific Ocean provided that you can see through the fog.

Youths play futsal down on the beach.

There was a Peru Rail kiosk advertising the Andean Explorer experience.  They had some nice comfy chairs and a TV screen showing scenery whizzing by.  Curiously, they left out the horrible, incessant shaking.  False advertising.

We caught our flight at midnight and made it home the next day.  Overall, we had a great time in Peru.  Our itinerary was a bit hectic leaving us really no time to relax.  We were able to sleep in after 7 AM only once the entire trip.  We were very lucky not to run into any problems that could have obliterated our plans.  By the time we got to Peru, they had the train to Machu Picchu up and running (well, at least partially).  The strikes that paralyzed Cusco happened while we were already away on the Inca Trail.  Furthermore, the flights in and out of the Amazon were not cancelled or delayed due to weather.  We accomplished everything that we had planned ahead of time.

Tourism is a vital industry in the areas of Peru that we visited.  Our limited Spanish was not a problem since there are plenty of English-speaking people or signs around.  In the Cusco area especially, we were accosted by a routine stream of people trying to offer massages, sell junk, or cajole you into their restaurants.  It is no different from many other countries that we have visited.  Most areas of Peru are poor.  Clean water and sanitation are lacking and even non-existent in some rural areas.  The most frustrating part was that these people’s ancestors had created an impressive infrastructure of buildings and roads that have and will stand the test of time.  I would expect that with their modern technology, vast mineral resources, and continuous influx of tourist money, Peruvians could do much better than the dusty dirt roads and crumbling adobe houses.  From speaking to many Peruvians, most blame this problem on their long history of government corruption.  In my opinion, Peru was a great place to visit.  It would be a shame if they don't eventually fix their problems.